Bir zamanlar,\u00a0Herhangi\u00a0bir ormanda ya\u015fayan\u00a0ya\u015fl\u0131\u00a0bir tilki varm\u0131\u015f. Bu tilki, her sabah t\u00fcylerini temizler, en g\u00fczel avlar\u0131n\u0131 avlar ve orman\u0131n en \u015f\u0131k yarat\u0131\u011f\u0131ym\u0131\u015f gibi dola\u015f\u0131rm\u0131\u015f ortal\u0131k yerde.\u00a0Ancak arkada\u015flar\u0131\u00a0bir g\u00fcn, tilkinin s\u0131rt\u0131nda bir yara \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 fark ettiklerinde, di\u011fer orman sakinleri tuhaf bir davran\u0131\u015f g\u00f6zlemlemeye ba\u015flam\u0131\u015flar. Tilki, kendi s\u0131rt\u0131ndaki yaray\u0131 \u00f6rtmek i\u00e7in s\u00fcrekli olarak di\u011fer hayvanlar\u0131n\u00a0arkas\u0131ndan onlara iftiralar atarak, yalanlar s\u00f6ylemeye ba\u015flam\u0131\u015f. Kendi\u00a0yaras\u0131n\u0131\u00a0saklamak istercesine, di\u011ferlerinin\u00a0yaras\u0131zl\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131\u00a0
Bu hik\u00e2ye, insan do\u011fas\u0131n\u0131n ilgin\u00e7 bir y\u00f6n\u00fcn\u00fc yans\u0131t\u0131r: Kendi ay\u0131b\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6rtmek i\u00e7in ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131n y\u00fcz\u00fcne kara \u00e7almak. Bu davran\u0131\u015f, psikolojide “projeksiyon” olarak adland\u0131r\u0131l\u0131r. Kendi kusurlar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131, hatalar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 veya utan\u00e7 verici y\u00f6nlerimizi ba\u015fkalar\u0131na atfetmek,\u00a0onlara yans\u0131tmak\u00a0bizi rahats\u0131z eden \u015feyleri \u00fczerimizden atma \u00e7abas\u0131d\u0131r. Ancak bu, sadece bir ge\u00e7i\u015ftir; ger\u00e7ek sorunlar\u0131 \u00e7\u00f6zmez, aksine daha fazla karma\u015fa yarat\u0131r.<\/p>\n
G\u00fcnl\u00fck hayat\u0131m\u0131zda, bu davran\u0131\u015f\u0131n bir\u00e7ok \u00f6rne\u011fiyle kar\u015f\u0131la\u015f\u0131r\u0131z. Politik arenadan sosyal medyaya, ki\u015fisel ili\u015fkilerden i\u015f hayat\u0131na kadar bir\u00e7ok alanda, insanlar kendi kusurlar\u0131n\u0131 gizlemek i\u00e7in ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131 karalamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rlar. Ancak bu strateji, uzun vadede kendi aya\u011f\u0131na kur\u015fun s\u0131kmaktan ba\u015fka bir \u015fey de\u011fildir. Kendi g\u00f6lgemizi saklamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131k\u00e7a, ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131n y\u00fcz\u00fcne s\u00fcrd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcz kara leke, sonunda kendi y\u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fc lekelemeye ba\u015flar.<\/p>\n
Bu durum, bir aynaya bakmak gibidir. Aynan\u0131n kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131na ge\u00e7ti\u011fimizde, kendi y\u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fczdeki lekeleri g\u00f6rmemek i\u00e7in ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131n y\u00fcz\u00fcne parma\u011f\u0131m\u0131zla dokunuruz. Ancak ayna, bizim parma\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 de\u011fil, kendi y\u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fc g\u00f6sterir. \u0130\u015fte bu y\u00fczden, ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131 su\u00e7larken, kendi kusurlar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 g\u00f6rmezden gelmemeliyiz. Aksi takdirde, kendi g\u00f6lgemizi saklamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rken, ger\u00e7ek y\u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fc gizleyemeyiz.<\/p>\n
Peki, bu davran\u0131\u015f\u0131n alt\u0131nda yatan nedenler nelerdir? Korku, belki de en b\u00fcy\u00fck etkendir. Kendi hatalar\u0131m\u0131zla y\u00fczle\u015fmekten, ba\u015far\u0131s\u0131zl\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 kabul etmekten korkar\u0131z. Bu korku, bizi ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131 su\u00e7lamaya\u00a0da\u00a0itebilir. Ayn\u0131 zamanda, kendimizi daha iyi hissetme iste\u011fi de bu davran\u0131\u015f\u0131n arkas\u0131ndaki bir di\u011fer \u00f6nemli motiftir. Ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131 a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 \u00e7ekerek kendimizi yukar\u0131da hissetmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131r\u0131z. Ancak bu, bir yan\u0131lsamad\u0131r; \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc ger\u00e7ekte, kendi de\u011ferimizi ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131 k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fclterek de\u011fil, kendi \u00e7abalar\u0131m\u0131zla kazan\u0131r\u0131z.<\/p>\n
Benim bildi\u011fim bir ger\u00e7eklik var dikkat edilmesi gereken. \u0130nsanlar iki \u015fekilde y\u00fckselirler hayatta. Ya eller \u00fcst\u00fcnde ya da omuzlara basarak.\u00a0Eller \u00fcst\u00fcnde y\u00fckselenler asla yere inmezler \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc onlar\u0131 kald\u0131ran eller yoruldu\u011funda di\u011fer elden destek gelecektir ama ya omuzlara basarak y\u00fckselenler \u00f6ylemi. Onlar en ufak bir omuzun yorulmas\u0131nda ve dengeyi kaybetmesinde yerle yeksan olup ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131 yere geri d\u00f6necektir hem de \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan daha h\u0131zl\u0131 bir \u015fekilde.<\/p>\n
Bu d\u00f6ng\u00fcy\u00fc k\u0131rmak i\u00e7in, \u00f6nce kendi g\u00f6lgemizi kabul etmemiz gerekir. Kendi kusurlar\u0131m\u0131zla y\u00fczle\u015fmek, ilk bak\u0131\u015fta zor gelse de, asl\u0131nda \u00f6zg\u00fcrle\u015ftiricidir. Kendi hatalar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 kabul etti\u011fimizde, ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131 su\u00e7lama ihtiyac\u0131n\u0131 azalt\u0131r\u0131z. Bu, ayn\u0131 zamanda daha d\u00fcr\u00fcst ve daha sahici ili\u015fkiler kurmam\u0131z\u0131 sa\u011flar.<\/p>\n
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Bir ba\u015fka \u00f6nemli nokta da, ele\u015ftiri ile karalama aras\u0131ndaki fark\u0131 bilmektir. Ele\u015ftiri, yap\u0131c\u0131 ve iyile\u015ftirmeye y\u00f6nelikken, karalama y\u0131k\u0131c\u0131d\u0131r ve sadece di\u011ferini k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrmeye y\u00f6neliktir.\u00a0Ele\u015ftiri, bir \u0131\u015f\u0131k huzmesi gibidir; karanl\u0131klar\u0131 ayd\u0131nlat\u0131r. Karalama ise, bir boya f\u0131r\u00e7as\u0131 gibidir; temiz y\u00fczleri lekelemek i\u00e7in kullan\u0131l\u0131r.<\/p>\n
Sonu\u00e7 olarak, kendi ay\u0131b\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6rtmek isteyenler, ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131n y\u00fcz\u00fcne kara \u00e7alarken, asl\u0131nda kendi y\u00fczlerini lekelediklerini unutmamal\u0131d\u0131r. Kendi g\u00f6lgemizi saklamak yerine, onu kabul etmek ve \u00fczerine gitmek, hem kendimiz hem de \u00e7evremiz i\u00e7in daha sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 bir yolculuktur.\u00a0Birine \u00e7amur att\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131zda g\u00f6rece\u011fiz ki bizimde ellerimiz kirlenmi\u015f.<\/p>\n
\u00a0Unutmayal\u0131m ki, ger\u00e7ek temizlik, i\u00e7imizden ba\u015flar; d\u0131\u015f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 temizlemek i\u00e7in \u00f6nce i\u00e7imizdeki tozlar\u0131 silkelemeliyiz.<\/p>\n
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Sizlere Gelecekte G\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fmek \u00fczerine Meydan Okuyorum.<\/b><\/p>\n
\u00a0O\u00a0Arada G\u00f6r\u00fc\u015felim…<\/b><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Kendi ay\u0131b\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6rtmek isteyen ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131n y\u00fcz\u00fcne kara \u00e7alarm\u0131\u015f. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":17,"featured_media":127819,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[37],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-129090","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-safak-genc"],"views":1670,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mersingazetesi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/129090","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mersingazetesi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mersingazetesi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mersingazetesi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/17"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mersingazetesi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=129090"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/mersingazetesi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/129090\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":129092,"href":"https:\/\/mersingazetesi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/129090\/revisions\/129092"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mersingazetesi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/127819"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mersingazetesi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=129090"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mersingazetesi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=129090"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mersingazetesi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=129090"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}