Hayat bazen en olmad\u0131k yerlerde s\u0131nar insan\u0131…
\nVelad, g\u00fcn\u00fcn ilk \u0131\u015f\u0131klar\u0131yla birlikte g\u00f6zlerini tavandaki \u00e7atlaklara dikti. \u00c7atlak say\u0131s\u0131 ayn\u0131yd\u0131. \u015eurdaki \u00e7aprazlamas\u0131na geliyor, \u015furadaki bak \u015fununla kavu\u015fmu\u015f. \u00c7atlaklar k\u0131ra\u00e7 bir co\u011frafyada ki \u00e7a\u011flayan nehirler gibi tavandan zemine su ta\u015f\u0131yordu.
\nHer sabah ayn\u0131 rutini ya\u015f\u0131yordu: Tavana bakmak, derin bir nefes almak ve o d\u00f6rt duvar\u0131n aras\u0131nda ne kadar s\u00fcredir oldu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmek.
\n“Bu duvar tan\u0131d\u0131k bir yerden gene…” diye m\u0131r\u0131ldand\u0131 kendi kendine. Ger\u00e7ekten de \u00f6yleydi. \u00c7ocuklu\u011funda oyun oynad\u0131\u011f\u0131 sokaklar\u0131n hemen yak\u0131n\u0131nda, mahallenin d\u0131\u015f\u0131na do\u011fru uzanan ta\u015f yap\u0131lar gibi bir his uyand\u0131r\u0131yordu bu hapishane. Ama i\u015fte, insan bazen hi\u00e7 ait olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 yerlerde bulurdu kendini.
\nVelad su\u00e7suzdu; bunu kendisi biliyordu ama geriye kalan herkesin g\u00f6z\u00fcnde o, bir su\u00e7luydu. Kar\u0131s\u0131 Elif\u2019in o duru\u015fma salonundaki g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131 h\u00e2l\u00e2 zihninde yank\u0131lan\u0131yordu. K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck k\u0131z\u0131 Ay\u015fe\u2019nin \u201cBaba, eve ne zaman geleceksin?\u201d diye sormas\u0131\u2026 O anlarda kelimeler bo\u011faz\u0131na d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmlenmi\u015fti. \u015eimdi ise bu d\u00f6rt duvar aras\u0131nda onlar\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmekten ba\u015fka yapacak bir \u015feyi yoktu.
\nBir Baba ve Hasret Kelimesinin Anlam\u0131
\nHer g\u00fcn \u00f6\u011fleden sonra Velad kendisine tahsis edilen k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck masan\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131na oturur, mektuplar yazard\u0131. Mektuplar\u0131 kimseye g\u00f6ndermezdi; \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131 her kelimeyi zihninde onlara \u00e7oktan s\u00f6ylemi\u015f gibi hissederdi.
\nBir keresinde \u015f\u00f6yle yazm\u0131\u015ft\u0131:
\n“Elif\u2019im, burada zaman \u00f6yle yava\u015f ki\u2026 Bazen sanki saatler durmu\u015f gibi geliyor. Ama sonra seni ve \u00e7ocuklar\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmde i\u00e7imde ba\u015fka bir saat i\u015fliyor; \u00f6zlemin saati\u2026 Onun tik taklar\u0131 hep kulaklar\u0131mda. Her bir tik tren gar\u0131 her bir tak kara tren, birikiyorlar, bekliyorlar evimizin \u00f6n\u00fcndeki tren gar\u0131nda”
\nO mektuplar\u0131 yazarken yan ko\u011fu\u015fta biri \u015fark\u0131 s\u00f6ylerdi genelde. Hafif h\u00fcz\u00fcnl\u00fc ama kula\u011fa ho\u015f gelen bir ezgi olurdu bu. \u015eark\u0131n\u0131n s\u00f6zleri pek anla\u015f\u0131lmazd\u0131 ama melodisi Velad\u2019\u0131n i\u00e7indeki bo\u015flu\u011fu daha da derinle\u015ftirirdi.
\n“Bir baba olarak onlar\u0131 koruyamad\u0131m,” diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fc s\u0131k s\u0131k. “Belki \u015fimdi d\u0131\u015far\u0131da daha zordur hayat onlar i\u00e7in… Ya Ay\u015fe okula gidemiyorsa? Ya Elif yaln\u0131z kalmaktan korkuyorsa?” Bu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnceler gece uyumas\u0131na izin vermezdi \u00e7o\u011fu zaman.
\nMahkeme G\u00fcn\u00fc
\nVelad’\u0131n akl\u0131ndan duru\u015fma g\u00fcn\u00fc hi\u00e7 \u00e7\u0131kmazd\u0131. O g\u00fcn ya\u011fmur ya\u011f\u0131yordu; g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fc griydi ve insanlar tela\u015fla sa\u011fa sola ko\u015fu\u015fturuyorlard\u0131 mahkeme binas\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcnde. \u0130\u00e7eri girerken Elif’in elleri buz gibiydi ama y\u00fcz\u00fcnde onu destekleyen s\u0131cak bir g\u00fcl\u00fcmseme vard\u0131.
\nSavc\u0131 sert bak\u0131\u015flarla onu s\u00fczd\u00fc, tan\u0131klar ise sessizli\u011fe g\u00f6m\u00fclm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. Su\u00e7suz oldu\u011funu anlatmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131 Velad; “Ben yapmad\u0131m!” dedi defalarca ama kimse dinlemek istemedi gibi g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcyordu.<\/p>\n
H\u00e2kimin tokma\u011f\u0131 masaya vurdu\u011fu anda b\u00fct\u00fcn d\u00fcnya sessizle\u015fmi\u015fti onun i\u00e7in: “10 y\u0131l hapis cezas\u0131.” \u0130\u015fte o an her \u015fey kararm\u0131\u015ft\u0131…
\nKo\u011fu\u015f Arkada\u015flar\u0131
\nHapishanedeki g\u00fcnleri yaln\u0131z ge\u00e7miyordu elbette; ko\u011fu\u015f arkada\u015flar\u0131yla da arada sohbet ederdi Velad. Ahmet Abi vard\u0131 mesela; emekli \u00f6\u011fretmen oldu\u011fu s\u00f6ylenirdi ama neden burada oldu\u011funu kimse bilmezdi.
\n\u201cBak gen\u00e7,\u201d derdi Ahmet Abi ona, \u201cZaman su gibi akar derler ya, inanma! Burada zaman kurumu\u015f dere yata\u011f\u0131 gibidir.\u201d Sonra sigaras\u0131n\u0131 yakar ve duman\u0131n\u0131 a\u011f\u0131r a\u011f\u0131r \u00fcflerdi.
\nBir de H\u00fcseyin vard\u0131; delikanl\u0131l\u0131k \u00e7a\u011f\u0131nda bir \u00e7ocuktu neredeyse ama y\u00fcz\u00fcndeki \u00e7izgiler ya\u015f\u0131ndan b\u00fcy\u00fck g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcyordu. H\u00fcseyin hep annesinden bahsederdi: \u201cAnnem beni bekliyordur abi,\u201d derken sesi titrerdi hafiften.
\nVelad onlar\u0131n hikayelerini dinledik\u00e7e kendi ailesine olan \u00f6zlemi daha da b\u00fcy\u00fcrd\u00fc i\u00e7inde. Ak\u015fam oldu\u011funda yata\u011f\u0131na uzan\u0131r ve hayal ederdi: Ay\u015fe\u2019nin sa\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 ok\u015famak, Elif\u2019le mutfakta \u00e7ay demlemek\u2026
\nG\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f G\u00fcnleri
\nAyda bir kez g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f g\u00fcn\u00fc olurdu ve o g\u00fcn Velad\u2019\u0131n y\u00fcre\u011fi hem heyecanla hem de ac\u0131yla dolup ta\u015fard\u0131. K\u0131z\u0131n\u0131 en son g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fte pencereden bakarken g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc; sa\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6rg\u00fc yapm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 annesi belli ki… Ay\u015fe \u00f6nce biraz utanga\u00e7 davranm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 babas\u0131na kar\u015f\u0131 ama sonra dayanamay\u0131p sar\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 cam\u0131n so\u011fuk y\u00fczeyine do\u011fru:
\n\u201cBaba, buras\u0131 so\u011fuk mu?\u201d
\nO soruyu duydu\u011funda Velad\u2019\u0131n g\u00f6zlerinden ya\u015flar s\u00fcz\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f ama k\u0131z\u0131n\u0131n fark etmemesi i\u00e7in h\u0131zl\u0131ca silmi\u015fti yanaklar\u0131n\u0131:
\n\u201cHay\u0131r k\u0131z\u0131m,\u201d demi\u015fti g\u00fcl\u00fcmsemeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015farak, \u201cBurada hep bahar havas\u0131 var.\u201d
\nAma ger\u00e7ek \u015fu ki i\u00e7i donuyordu her ge\u00e7en g\u00fcn\u2026
\nKa\u011f\u0131ttan Ku\u015flar<\/p>\n
Bir g\u00fcn ko\u011fu\u015fta bo\u015f oturmaktan s\u0131k\u0131l\u0131p k\u00e2\u011f\u0131ttan ku\u015flar yapmaya ba\u015flad\u0131 Velad. \u0130lk yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 ku\u015fa “\u00d6zg\u00fcrl\u00fck” ad\u0131n\u0131 verdi ve pencerenin kenar\u0131na koydu.
\nAhmet Abi onu g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde g\u00fcld\u00fc: \u201cBu ku\u015flar u\u00e7maz be o\u011flum.\u201d
\nVelad da g\u00fcl\u00fcmsedi: \u201cU\u00e7maz belki abi ama benim hayallerim u\u00e7ar.\u201d
\nZamanla ka\u011f\u0131ttan ku\u015flar yapmak onun i\u00e7in bir terapi haline geldi adeta. Her biri farkl\u0131 bir umut ta\u015f\u0131yordu i\u00e7inde: Biri ailesine kavu\u015fmay\u0131 temsil ediyordu, di\u011feri adaletin sonunda yerini bulmas\u0131n\u0131\u2026
\nGece D\u00fc\u015fleri
\nGeceleri r\u00fcyalar\u0131nda hep ayn\u0131 \u015feyi g\u00f6r\u00fcrd\u00fc: Evine d\u00f6nm\u00fc\u015f olurdu ve kap\u0131y\u0131 a\u00e7t\u0131\u011f\u0131nda Ay\u015fe ko\u015farak boynuna at\u0131l\u0131rd\u0131:
\n\u201cBaba! Seni \u00e7ok \u00f6zledik!\u201d<\/p>\n
Elif mutfaktan \u00e7\u0131kar ve ona s\u0131cac\u0131k \u00e7ay getirirdi r\u00fcyas\u0131nda bile… Ama i\u015fte r\u00fcyalar da hapishanenin duvarlar\u0131ndan d\u0131\u015far\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kamazd\u0131 \u00e7o\u011fu zaman.
\nBaz\u0131 geceler uyan\u0131r ve tavan\u0131n \u00e7atlaklar\u0131na bakarak dua ederdi sessizce: “Allah\u2019\u0131m bana sab\u0131r ver\u2026 Ailemi benden mahrum b\u0131rakma.”
\nG\u00fcn\u00fcn Birinde\u2026
\nAradan y\u0131llar ge\u00e7ti; her ge\u00e7en y\u0131l biraz daha umut a\u015f\u0131nd\u0131r\u0131yormu\u015f gibi geliyordu Velad\u2019a ama yine de pes etmedi hi\u00e7… K\u00e2\u011f\u0131ttan ku\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 yapmaya devam etti, mektuplar\u0131n\u0131 yazd\u0131, dualar\u0131n\u0131 eksik etmedi.
\nSonunda bekledi\u011fi haber geldi\u011finde inanamam\u0131\u015ft\u0131: Dosyas\u0131ndaki deliller yeniden incelenmi\u015fti ve su\u00e7suz oldu\u011fu ortaya \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015ft\u0131! Ko\u011fu\u015f arkada\u015flar\u0131 sevin\u00e7le sar\u0131ld\u0131 ona:
\n\u201cBak gen\u00e7,\u201d dedi Ahmet Abi g\u00fclerek, \u201cDedim sana bu duvarlar\u0131n ard\u0131nda bile umut var diye!\u201d
\nHapishane kap\u0131s\u0131ndan \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u00fcn g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcne bakt\u0131 uzun uzun… G\u00fcne\u015f tam tepesindeydi ve hava mis gibi insan kokuyordu.
\nEve d\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde kap\u0131y\u0131 a\u00e7an ki\u015fi k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck k\u0131z\u0131 Ay\u015fe oldu yine… Ama bu kez ger\u00e7ekti her \u015fey:
\n\u201cBaba! Seni \u00e7ok \u00f6zledik!\u201d diye ba\u011f\u0131rd\u0131 Ay\u015fe boynuna at\u0131l\u0131rken…
\nVelad\u2019\u0131n g\u00f6zlerinden ya\u015flar s\u00fcz\u00fcld\u00fc yine ama bu kez mutluluktand\u0131…
\nHayat bazen en olmad\u0131k yerlerde s\u0131nar insan\u0131…
\nAma sevgi varsa yolun sonunda hep g\u00fcne\u015f do\u011far de\u011fil mi?
\nSizlere Gelecekte G\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fmek \u00fczerine Meydan Okuyorum.
\nOrada G\u00f6r\u00fc\u015felim…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hayat bazen en olmad\u0131k yerlerde s\u0131nar insan\u0131… Velad, g\u00fcn\u00fcn ilk \u0131\u015f\u0131klar\u0131yla birlikte g\u00f6zlerini tavandaki \u00e7atlaklara dikti. \u00c7atlak say\u0131s\u0131 ayn\u0131yd\u0131. \u015eurdaki \u00e7aprazlamas\u0131na geliyor, \u015furadaki bak \u015fununla kavu\u015fmu\u015f. \u00c7atlaklar k\u0131ra\u00e7 bir co\u011frafyada ki \u00e7a\u011flayan nehirler gibi tavandan zemine su ta\u015f\u0131yordu. Her sabah ayn\u0131 rutini ya\u015f\u0131yordu: Tavana bakmak, derin bir nefes almak ve o d\u00f6rt duvar\u0131n aras\u0131nda ne […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":17,"featured_media":115972,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[37],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-116637","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-safak-genc"],"views":563,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mersingazetesi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/116637","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mersingazetesi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mersingazetesi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mersingazetesi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/17"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mersingazetesi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=116637"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/mersingazetesi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/116637\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":116638,"href":"https:\/\/mersingazetesi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/116637\/revisions\/116638"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mersingazetesi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/115972"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mersingazetesi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=116637"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mersingazetesi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=116637"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mersingazetesi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=116637"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}