{"id":105402,"date":"2025-08-22T15:41:22","date_gmt":"2025-08-22T12:41:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mersingazetesi.com\/?p=105402"},"modified":"2025-08-22T15:41:22","modified_gmt":"2025-08-22T12:41:22","slug":"dikenli-gulu-guldurmek-mi-ki","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mersingazetesi.com\/index.php\/2025\/08\/22\/dikenli-gulu-guldurmek-mi-ki\/","title":{"rendered":"D\u0130KENL\u0130 G\u00dcL\u00dc G\u00dcLD\u00dcRMEK M\u0130 K\u0130?"},"content":{"rendered":"<div>\n<div>\n<div dir=\"ltr\">Dikkat ettiniz mi? Bir\u00e7ok kentin meydan\u0131nda, her sabah g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc\u00a0delmeye meyilli bir \u015fekilde sessizce y\u00fckselen bir saat kulesi vard\u0131r; ne\u00a0kadar g\u00fcr\u00fclt\u00fcyle \u00e7evrelense de mevsimler so\u011fuk s\u0131cak ya da don da olsa\u00a0dakikalar\u0131n\u0131 asla \u015fa\u015fmaz.<\/div>\n<div dir=\"ltr\">Zor insan da bu saat kulesi misali, i\u015fte o kalabal\u0131\u011f\u0131n ortas\u0131nda r\u00fczg\u00e2ra\u00a0kar\u015f\u0131 duran bir flama gibidir: Sallan\u0131r, savrulur ama dire\u011fi hi\u00e7 k\u0131r\u0131lmaz.\u00a0Hepimizin hayat\u0131nda bu flamalar vard\u0131r; kimi i\u015f yerinin koridorunda\u00a0yan\u0131m\u0131zdan ge\u00e7er, kimi aile sofram\u0131zda \u00e7atal\u0131n ucunda bekler, kimi de\u00a0i\u00e7imizde sakl\u0131 duran eski bir yank\u0131d\u0131r. Peki, dikenli g\u00fclleri elimize\u00a0bat\u0131rmadan tutman\u0131n, o flamayla bar\u0131\u015f bayra\u011f\u0131 dalgaland\u0131rman\u0131n yolu\u00a0nedir?<\/div>\n<div dir=\"ltr\">Birinci ad\u0131m: Aynay\u0131 buhars\u0131z b\u0131rakmak. Zor insan, \u00e7o\u011fu zaman\u00a0ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131n y\u00fczeyine yans\u0131mak i\u00e7in \u00fcfledi\u011fi sisle g\u00f6r\u00fcnmez olur.\u00a0Tepkisizlik, onu kal\u0131n bulutlar\u0131n ard\u0131na saklar; \u00f6fke ise sisin aras\u0131na\u00a0k\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 bir \u015fim\u015fek \u00e7akar. \u0130lk g\u00f6revimiz, bu aynay\u0131 so\u011fukkanl\u0131 bir sab\u0131rla\u00a0silmektir. Kar\u015f\u0131 taraf\u0131n c\u00fcmlelerini ki\u015fisel bir z\u0131rha saplanan oklar gibi\u00a0de\u011fil, yak\u0131n mesafeden ge\u00e7en ku\u015flar gibi izlemek gerekir: Dokunmazsan\u0131z\u00a0zarar vermezler. Soru sormak, aynan\u0131n buhar\u0131n\u0131 da\u011f\u0131tan en etkili bezdir.\u00a0\u201cBunu ni\u00e7in s\u00f6yledin?\u201d yerine \u201cB\u00f6yle hissetmene sebep olan \u015feyi a\u00e7abilir\u00a0misin?\u201d gibi yumu\u015fak ama net sorular, sis bulutunu havaland\u0131r\u0131r.<\/div>\n<div dir=\"ltr\">\u0130kinci ad\u0131m: Satran\u00e7 tahtas\u0131n\u0131 b\u00fcy\u00fctmek. Dar bir tahta, piyonlara\u00a0ka\u00e7acak yer b\u0131rakmaz; zor insanlarla olan ili\u015fkinizi de tek hamlelik bir\u00a0oyuna s\u0131k\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131rsan\u0131z ka\u00e7\u0131n\u0131lmaz \u00e7at\u0131\u015fmalar do\u011far. Tahtay\u0131 geni\u015fletmek,\u00a0yani ortak alanlar bulmak, piyonlara nefes, size strateji kazand\u0131r\u0131r.\u00a0Hobiler, payla\u015f\u0131lan projeler, ortak hedefler\u2026<\/div>\n<div dir=\"ltr\">Sizi ayn\u0131 kampta bulu\u015fturacak bir ate\u015f yakmak, ate\u015fin \u00e7evresinde\u00a0anlat\u0131lan t\u00fcm hik\u00e2yeleri yumu\u015fat\u0131r.<\/div>\n<div dir=\"ltr\">\u00dc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fc ad\u0131m: Sa\u011flam bir duvar \u00f6rmek ama kap\u0131y\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131k b\u0131rakmak. S\u0131n\u0131rlar, dikenli \u00e7it de\u011fildir; iyi yerle\u015ftirilmi\u015f ta\u015flar ve aralar\u0131ndan s\u00fcz\u00fclen bir patika gibidir. \u201cBu konu benim hassas alan\u0131m, burada mola verelim\u201d diyebilmek, hem kar\u015f\u0131n\u0131zdaki ki\u015fiye harita verir hem sizi \u00e7at\u0131\u015fman\u0131n kanl\u0131 bozk\u0131r\u0131ndan uzakla\u015ft\u0131rm\u0131\u015f olarak korur. Fakat kap\u0131 aralanamazsa k\u00f6pr\u00fc de kurulmaz gibi bir ger\u00e7eklik var. S\u0131n\u0131r\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 s\u00f6yleyin, kap\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 da g\u00f6sterin: \u201cEle\u015ftirine ihtiyac\u0131m var, ama bu \u00fcslup bana sert geliyor c\u00fcmlesi gayet uygun bana g\u00f6re. Fikirlerini \u015fu \u00e7er\u00e7evede payla\u015f\u0131rsan duymaktan mutluluk duyar\u0131m. C\u00fcmleleri ikili ili\u015fkiyi bir hayli yumu\u015fatacakt\u0131r.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>\n<div dir=\"ltr\">D\u00f6rd\u00fcnc\u00fc ad\u0131m: K\u00fcre\u011fi b\u0131rak\u0131p pusulay\u0131 almak. Tart\u0131\u015fma an\u0131, nehrin en\u00a0h\u0131zl\u0131 akt\u0131\u011f\u0131 yerdir; k\u00fcre\u011fi ne kadar sert sallarsan\u0131z sallay\u0131n, sizi hep\u00a0geri \u00e7eker. Oysa pusula, ak\u0131nt\u0131n\u0131n y\u00f6n\u00fcn\u00fc fark etmenizi sa\u011flar.<\/div>\n<div dir=\"ltr\">Zor insan \u00f6fkelendi\u011finde, ayn\u0131 ses tonuyla cevap verirseniz onun\u00a0gerginli\u011fine e\u015flik etmi\u015f iki dalga \u00e7arp\u0131\u015f\u0131r ve k\u00f6p\u00fckten ba\u015fka bir \u015fey\u00a0kalmaz. Ak\u0131nt\u0131n\u0131n y\u00f6n\u00fcn\u00fc izleyip k\u0131y\u0131ya yana\u015fmak; yani bir nefes aral\u0131\u011f\u0131,\u00a0konu de\u011fi\u015fikli\u011fi, k\u0131sa bir sessizlik\u2026 Bunlar pusulan\u0131n g\u00f6sterdi\u011fi g\u00fcvenli\u00a0k\u0131y\u0131lard\u0131r.<\/div>\n<div dir=\"ltr\">Be\u015finci ad\u0131m: \u00c7eviriyi hatas\u0131z yapmak. Zor insanlar \u00e7o\u011fu kez s\u00f6zc\u00fcklerin\u00a0kabu\u011funda ya\u015farlar; i\u00e7indeki anlam\u0131 duyuracak deli\u011fi aramak size d\u00fc\u015fer.\u00a0\u201cSen hi\u00e7bir zaman\u2026\u201d diye ba\u015flayan c\u00fcmle, ger\u00e7ekte \u201cKayg\u0131lan\u0131yorum, g\u00f6z\u00a0ard\u0131 edildi\u011fimi hissediyorum\u201d demektir. Kabuk soyulmadan \u00f6z g\u00f6r\u00fcnmez.\u00a0Sakin bir dille geri \u00e7eviri yap\u0131n: \u201cHi\u00e7 dinlenmedi\u011fini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorsun,\u00a0do\u011fru mu?\u201d Bu, ham kelimeleri ekme\u011fi f\u0131r\u0131n\u0131na g\u00f6nderir, kokusunu bile\u00a0yumu\u015fak bir \u015fekilde alman\u0131z\u0131 sa\u011flar.<\/div>\n<div dir=\"ltr\">Alt\u0131nc\u0131 ad\u0131m: Kendi barometrenizi okumak. Bir\u00e7ok ki\u015fi zor insanla\u00a0m\u00fccadelede ko\u015fullu reflekslere yenilir; yelken dire\u011fi k\u0131r\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131nda\u00a0f\u0131rt\u0131nay\u0131 su\u00e7lar. Oysa hangi r\u00fczg\u00e2ra dayan\u0131kl\u0131 oldu\u011fumuzu, hangisinde\u00a0demir atmam\u0131z gerekti\u011fini bilmek kendini tan\u0131maktan ge\u00e7er. Empati kas\u0131\u00a0geli\u015fmemi\u015f birine empatiyle yakla\u015f\u0131rken, kendi kaslar\u0131n\u0131z\u0131n lif lif\u00a0gerildi\u011fini fark edip gev\u015fetmek \u00f6nemlidir. \u201c\u015eu an omuzlar\u0131m ta\u015f kesildi\u201d\u00a0diyebilmek, i\u00e7 f\u0131rt\u0131nay\u0131 dindirmenin ilk notas\u0131d\u0131r.<\/div>\n<div dir=\"ltr\">Yedinci ad\u0131m: Maskeyi sevmek yerine y\u00fcz\u00fc merak etmek. Hepimiz bir\u00a0tiyatro sahnesinde oynar\u0131z; kimimiz patron peruklar\u0131 takar, kimimiz\u00a0karde\u015f rol\u00fcnde ele avuca s\u0131\u011fmaz. Zor insan\u0131n maskesi bazen g\u00fcr\u00fclt\u00fcc\u00fcd\u00fcr,\u00a0bazen alayc\u0131, bazen ma\u011fdur. Maskeyi tart\u0131\u015fmak bo\u015ftur; alt\u0131ndaki cildi\u00a0merak etmek ise d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcr\u00fcc\u00fcd\u00fcr. \u201cBu seni incitti mi?\u201d sorusu, maskenin\u00a0tokas\u0131n\u0131 gev\u015fetir; \u201c\u015eov yap\u0131yorsun\u201d yarg\u0131s\u0131 ise sahne \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 art\u0131r\u0131r.<\/div>\n<div dir=\"ltr\">Sekizinci ad\u0131m: Kazanmak yerine \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fclmek. Nehir, asla ta\u015flar\u0131 yenmeye\u00a0\u00e7al\u0131\u015fmaz; dola\u015f\u0131r, yontar, k\u0131vr\u0131l\u0131r. Tart\u0131\u015fmada hakl\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kma tutkusu bazen\u00a0suyun ak\u0131\u015f\u0131n\u0131 keser ve baraj patlad\u0131\u011f\u0131nda herkesi sular. Anla\u015fmay\u0131, \u201csen\u00a0haks\u0131zs\u0131n\u201d levhas\u0131 dikerek de\u011fil, \u201cnas\u0131l hissedebilece\u011fimizi anlad\u0131k\u201d\u00a0tablas\u0131 yerle\u015ftirerek somutla\u015ft\u0131r\u0131rsak, k\u00f6pr\u00fc ayaklar\u0131 g\u00fc\u00e7lenir.\u00a0Kazanmak, bir ki\u015finin elini havaya kald\u0131rmaksa, \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fclmek iki ki\u015finin de\u00a0elini b\u0131rakmadan y\u00fcr\u00fcmeye devam etmesidir.<\/div>\n<div dir=\"ltr\">Dokuzuncu ad\u0131m: Yedek enerjiyi saklamak. Zor insanlar uzun maratonlard\u0131r; h\u0131zla ko\u015farsan\u0131z \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fc kilometrede diz ba\u011flar\u0131n\u0131z kopar. Kendi kaynaklar\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 korumak, gerekirse mesafe koymak ve o bo\u015flu\u011fu \u015farj istasyonu gibi kullanmak \u015fart. K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck molalar, destek ald\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z bir dost, bir terapist veya bir defter sayfas\u0131&#8230; Bunlar, yolun kalan\u0131n\u0131 karanl\u0131kta \u0131\u015f\u0131ks\u0131z ge\u00e7memenizi sa\u011flar.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>\n<div dir=\"ltr\">Onuncu ad\u0131m: K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck zafer bayraklar\u0131 dikmek. \u0130yi giden bir diyalog,\u00a0beklenmedik bir g\u00fcl\u00fcmseme, k\u0131salan bir tart\u0131\u015fma s\u00fcresi\u2026 Bunlar\u0131\u00a0g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcr k\u0131l\u0131n. \u201cBu kez birbirimizi yar\u0131m saatte de\u011fil de be\u015f dakikada\u00a0anlad\u0131k\u201d demek, topra\u011fa \u00e7ak\u0131lan renkli bir bayrakt\u0131r ve zor insan\u0131n da\u00a0g\u00f6z\u00fcne de\u011fer. \u0130lerleme hissi, ili\u015fkinin nabz\u0131n\u0131 diri tutar.<\/div>\n<div dir=\"ltr\">On birinci ad\u0131m: Kendini hik\u00e2yenin kahraman\u0131 sanmaktan vazge\u00e7mek. Her\u00a0kahraman, ba\u015fka birinin g\u00f6lgesini b\u00fcy\u00fct\u00fcr. Zor insan, bazen kendi\u00a0hik\u00e2yesinin yan karakteri olmaktan yorulmu\u015ftur; ona sahnenin ortas\u0131nda\u00a0k\u0131sa bir monolog sunmak, k\u0131l\u0131c\u0131n\u0131 k\u0131n\u0131na sokmas\u0131na yard\u0131mc\u0131 olur.\u00a0Dinlemek, epik bir m\u00fcdahaledir: Kar\u015f\u0131n\u0131zdaki ki\u015fi, i\u00e7indeki ejderhay\u0131\u00a0tarif ederken siz s\u00fck\u00fbnetle ate\u015ften korunman\u0131n yollar\u0131n\u0131 ke\u015ffedersiniz.<\/div>\n<div dir=\"ltr\">Son ad\u0131m: Vedan\u0131n da bir se\u00e7enek oldu\u011funu unutmamak. Baz\u0131 g\u00fcller \u00e7ok\u00a0zehirlidir; her dokunu\u015fta diken de\u011fil, zehir bula\u015ft\u0131r\u0131r. T\u00fcm ad\u0131mlara\u00a0ra\u011fmen tekrar eden toksik d\u00f6ng\u00fcler varsa, ba\u011f \u00e7\u00f6zme rit\u00fceli bir cesaret\u00a0de\u011fil, kendine sadakat eylemidir. K\u00f6\u015fe ba\u015f\u0131nda el sallamak, y\u00fcr\u00fcmeye\u00a0devam etmek ve ard\u0131n\u0131za bakmamak, bazen en kendi i\u00e7inizle olan en\u00a0erdemli bar\u0131\u015ft\u0131r.<\/div>\n<div dir=\"ltr\">Dikenli g\u00fcllerle dolu bah\u00e7ede y\u00fcr\u00fcmek cesaret ister; ama unutmay\u0131n,\u00a0g\u00fcl\u00fcn kokusu da dikenin g\u00f6lgesinde sakl\u0131d\u0131r. Zor insanlarla sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131\u00a0ili\u015fkiler kurmak, incelikli bir bah\u00e7\u0131vanl\u0131k i\u015fidir: Budama makas\u0131n\u0131\u00a0h\u0131n\u00e7la de\u011fil, \u00f6zenle tutar; suyu \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fcl\u00fc verir, g\u00fcne\u015fi payla\u015fmay\u0131\u00a0bilirseniz, bah\u00e7e bir g\u00fcn ortak \u015fark\u0131larla \u00e7i\u00e7ek a\u00e7ar.<\/div>\n<div dir=\"ltr\">Unutmay\u0131n, her flama r\u00fczg\u00e2rla dans eder; dire\u011fi dimdik tutan, i\u00e7indeki\u00a0esnek liflerdir. Siz kendi liflerinizi g\u00fc\u00e7lendirdi\u011finizde, lafta zor, \u00f6zde\u00a0insan t\u00fcm karakterleriyle yan\u0131n\u0131zda dans eder.<\/div>\n<div dir=\"ltr\">Sizlere Gelecekte G\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fmek \u00fczerine Meydan Okuyorum.<\/div>\n<p>Orada G\u00f6r\u00fc\u015felim&#8230;<\/p><\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dikkat ettiniz mi? Bir\u00e7ok kentin meydan\u0131nda, her sabah g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc\u00a0delmeye meyilli bir \u015fekilde sessizce y\u00fckselen bir saat kulesi vard\u0131r; ne\u00a0kadar g\u00fcr\u00fclt\u00fcyle \u00e7evrelense de mevsimler so\u011fuk s\u0131cak ya da don da olsa\u00a0dakikalar\u0131n\u0131 asla \u015fa\u015fmaz. Zor insan da bu saat kulesi misali, i\u015fte o kalabal\u0131\u011f\u0131n ortas\u0131nda r\u00fczg\u00e2ra\u00a0kar\u015f\u0131 duran bir flama gibidir: Sallan\u0131r, savrulur ama dire\u011fi hi\u00e7 k\u0131r\u0131lmaz.\u00a0Hepimizin hayat\u0131nda [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":17,"featured_media":105160,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[37],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-105402","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-safak-genc"],"views":1186,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mersingazetesi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/105402","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mersingazetesi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mersingazetesi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mersingazetesi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/17"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mersingazetesi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=105402"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mersingazetesi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/105402\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mersingazetesi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/105160"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mersingazetesi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=105402"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mersingazetesi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=105402"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mersingazetesi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=105402"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}