{"id":105159,"date":"2025-08-19T15:33:41","date_gmt":"2025-08-19T12:33:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mersingazetesi.com\/?p=105159"},"modified":"2025-08-19T15:33:41","modified_gmt":"2025-08-19T12:33:41","slug":"deniz-beni-seyrederken-ben-kendime-bakiyordum","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mersingazetesi.com\/index.php\/2025\/08\/19\/deniz-beni-seyrederken-ben-kendime-bakiyordum\/","title":{"rendered":"DEN\u0130Z BEN\u0130 SEYREDERKEN BEN KEND\u0130ME BAKIYORDUM"},"content":{"rendered":"<div dir=\"ltr\">Sevgili Zaman, sana y\u0131llar \u00f6nce yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131m en yal\u0131n mektuptan bu yana \u00e7ok\u00a0\u015fey de\u011fi\u015fmedi: D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm ki denizi g\u00f6rmeden \u00f6nce kendimi g\u00f6rebilmem\u00a0m\u00fcmk\u00fcn de\u011fildi. Ev, p\u0131nar, palmiyeler; hepsi birer y\u0131ld\u0131z gibi bana yol\u00a0g\u00f6steriyor. Zenginli\u011fim, kendi i\u00e7imde, ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131n kurallar\u0131yla s\u0131n\u0131rl\u0131\u00a0de\u011fildir; ben art\u0131k payla\u015f\u0131mda ve sadele\u015fmede \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fcy\u00fcm. \u0130nsanlardan\u00a0uzak, ama do\u011fayla konu\u015fan, kendi ritmimde y\u00fcr\u00fcyen bir bilgeyim. S\u00fct\u00a0cam\u0131 k\u0131r\u0131lacak ama kalbim k\u0131r\u0131nt\u0131s\u0131z, temiz, yolda\u015fl\u0131kla dolu. \u00d6l\u00fcm\u00a0geldi\u011finde de denize bakal\u0131m ve \u00f6l\u00fcmle elele denizin \u00fczerinden ko\u015farak\u00a0gidelim diyorum; yaln\u0131zca k\u00f6pe\u011fim yank\u0131lanan ad\u0131mlar\u0131m\u0131n sahibidir, bu\u00a0hak ondad\u0131r sadece ku\u015flardan ve yeni a\u00e7\u0131lm\u0131\u015f yapraklardan sonra. Bu\u00a0d\u00fcnya i\u00e7in de\u011fil \u00e7abam, ben sadece kendi i\u00e7imdeki d\u00fcnyan\u0131n haritas\u0131n\u0131\u00a0\u00e7iziyorum. S\u00f6zlerim,\u00a0<b>g\u00f6lgesel<\/b>\u00a0bir ayna olsun: Deniz, p\u0131nar, palmiyeler;\u00a0g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fc, ku\u015flar ve r\u00fczg\u00e2rlar; hepsi bana, \u201cgeri\u00a0<b>d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fs\u00fczce<\/b>\u00a0basit ya\u015fa\u201d\u00a0diyor. Ben onlar\u0131n emirini \u201cba\u015f\u0131mla beraber\u201d deyip kabul ediyorum.<\/div>\n<div dir=\"ltr\">Denizi g\u00f6ren bir evim olacak demeliyim kendime onca zaman; evimin\u00a0hemen ucunda buz gibi p\u0131nar suyu akacak, o su i\u00e7ildi\u011fi zaman i\u00e7in i\u00e7in\u00a0yan\u0131p tutu\u015fan bir arzu gibi y\u00fckselip beni uyand\u0131racak. Bah\u00e7emde\u00a0palmiyeler, r\u00fczg\u00e2r\u0131 selamlayan a\u011fa\u00e7lar, d\u00fcnyan\u0131n hangi \u00fclkesinde hangi\u00a0\u00e7i\u00e7ek varsa, benim k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bah\u00e7emde, kendi bah\u00e7emde bar\u0131\u015f i\u00e7inde k\u00f6k\u00a0salacaklar.<\/div>\n<div dir=\"ltr\">Evim olacak diyorum, palmiyelerle s\u00fcsl\u00fc bir sahilde, topraktan yolu olan\u00a0g\u00fcne\u015fin erken do\u011fup ge\u00e7 batt\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir sahil k\u00f6y\u00fcnde denizi g\u00f6ren bir evim\u00a0olacak. Evimin hemen yan\u0131 ba\u015f\u0131nda buz gibi p\u0131nar suyu akacak. \u00d6yle bir\u00a0suyu olacak ki o p\u0131nar\u0131n, i\u00e7tik\u00e7e i\u00e7esin gelecek. Suyu berrak, k\u00f6t\u00fc kadere\u00a0inat g\u00fclerek izleyece\u011fim yans\u0131yan g\u00f6r\u00fcnt\u00fcm\u00fc. \u00d6yle \u00f6mr\u00fcm\u00fc beraber\u00a0ge\u00e7irece\u011fim, hayat\u0131m\u0131 u\u011fruna adayaca\u011f\u0131m bir kad\u0131n falan olmayacak\u00a0yan\u0131mda. \u00c7ocukta istemiyorum onlar\u0131 sevece\u011fime kitap okurum bol bol.<\/div>\n<div dir=\"ltr\">Sabah erken uyanmal\u0131y\u0131m; uyku tutmazsa ya k\u00fcmeste \u00f6t\u00fc\u015fen horoz\u00a0\u0131sl\u0131klar\u0131 ya kedinin s\u00fcrt\u00fcnmesiyle tenimin k\u0131zarmas\u0131 ya da k\u00f6pe\u011fimin\u00a0y\u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fc yalay\u0131\u015f\u0131yla beni yataktan kald\u0131racak. Olmazsa da g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcnden\u00a0gelen r\u00fczg\u00e2r, tuzla kar\u0131\u015f\u0131k bir dokunu\u015fla tenimi y\u00fczle\u015ftirecek, beni\u00a0hemen uykunun enginliklerinden kopar\u0131p g\u00fcne ba\u011flayacak.<\/div>\n<div dir=\"ltr\">Sabah\u0131n ilk i\u015fi buz gibi p\u0131nar suyuyla y\u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fc y\u0131kamak olacak; su,\u00a0y\u00fcz\u00fcmdeki \u00e7izgileri yeniden yazacak ve sa\u00e7lar\u0131m samuray topuzuna\u00a0d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fecek. Esmer tenim her ge\u00e7en g\u00fcn daha diri, daha derinle\u015fecek; insan\u00a0yok ya bu hik\u00e2ye de hayvanlar bile beni g\u00f6rd\u00fcklerinde bana selam\u00a0verecekler; onlar\u0131n bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131, insanlar\u0131n dilinden daha \u00e7ok g\u00fcven<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div dir=\"ltr\">verecek. Bah\u00e7emde her \u015feyin, evet her \u015feyin tek tek kokusunu\u00a0alabilece\u011fim kadar \u00e7ok bitki, a\u011fa\u00e7 ve \u00e7i\u00e7ek var; d\u00fcnyan\u0131n hangi \u00fclkesinde\u00a0hangi cins \u00e7i\u00e7ek istersem, benim k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bah\u00e7emde olmal\u0131 diyorum.\u00a0Domatesim, salatal\u0131\u011f\u0131m, bu\u011fday\u0131m; al\u0131n terim hepsi bir arada, tek bir\u00a0garip c\u00fcmlede toplanm\u0131\u015f gibi g\u00fcne haz\u0131rlanacak.<\/div>\n<div dir=\"ltr\">Envai \u00e7e\u015fit nebatat yeti\u015ftirmek istiyorum o evin bah\u00e7esinde. D\u00fcnyan\u0131n\u00a0hangi \u00fclkesinde hangi a\u011fa\u00e7 hangi \u00e7i\u00e7ek varsa benim k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bah\u00e7emde\u00a0olmal\u0131. Her sabah erkenden kalkmal\u0131y\u0131m, kalkamasam da k\u00fcmesteki horoz\u00a0\u0131sl\u0131k \u00e7al\u0131p uyand\u0131rs\u0131n beni. Olmad\u0131 kedi gelsin s\u00fcrt\u00fcns\u00fcn bana \u2018\u2018gene mi\u00a0yata\u011fa girdin t\u00fcy yuma\u011f\u0131 yatak hep t\u00fcy oldu\u2019\u2019 diye k\u0131zay\u0131m da kalkay\u0131m\u00a0yataktan ya da k\u00f6pe\u011fim gelsin y\u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fc yalas\u0131n da uyanay\u0131m. Olmad\u0131 ge\u00e7\u00a0kalkarsam deniz merak edip g\u00f6ndersin bir r\u00fczg\u00e2r tuzla kar\u0131\u015f\u0131k \u015f\u00f6yle\u00a0tenimi yalan cinsinden, uyan\u0131vereyim hemencecik. Sabah kalk\u0131nca ilk i\u015fim\u00a0buz gibi p\u0131nar suyuyla y\u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fc y\u0131kamak olacak. Su buz gibi geldim kendime\u00a0aksim yans\u0131m\u0131\u015f suya sa\u00e7lar\u0131m k\u0131r, uzatm\u0131\u015f\u0131m samuray topuzu yapm\u0131\u015f\u0131m.\u00a0Esmer tenim her ge\u00e7en g\u00fcn daha diri daha esmer olacak insan yok ya bu\u00a0hikaye de hayvanlar beni g\u00f6r\u00fcnce bana selam vermeye gelecek. Yaz\u0131m\u00a0k\u0131\u015f\u0131m bu\u011fday\u0131m al\u0131n terim bah\u00e7ada ki domatisim, salatal\u0131\u011f\u0131m, acurum\u00a0tekmili birden bir gar\u0131kda yeti\u015fecek. Ne var bunda demeyin \u00e7ok zengindim\u00a0ben servetimi palya\u00e7olara ve ku\u015flara ba\u011f\u0131\u015flamadan \u00f6nce.<\/div>\n<div dir=\"ltr\">\u00d6nceden zengindim \u015fimdi insan\u0131m. Bir sabah ya\u011fmurlu bir havada iplik\u00a0gibi ya\u011farken ya\u011fmur \u00f6\u011frendim as\u0131l zenginlik ne kadar mal\u0131n, servetin\u00a0oldu\u011fu ile de\u011fil, ne kadar kazand\u0131\u011f\u0131nla de\u011fil, nereye harcad\u0131\u011f\u0131n ve\u00a0kaybettiklerinle \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fcl\u00fcyormu\u015f. G\u00fcn olur \u00e7illi k\u0131z\u0131n iki yumurtas\u0131nda\u00a0dal\u0131n kopma patl\u0131can\u0131 do\u011fray\u0131p k\u0131zart\u0131r\u0131m g\u00fcn olur denizin bana verdi\u011fi\u00a0bal\u0131klarla yetinirim. Suyla dost ku\u015fla dost bal\u0131kla dost, m\u00fcnzevi bir\u00a0h\u00fcmanist olurum. D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm de kendi kendime g\u00fcl\u00fcyorum \u015fu an, kendime\u00a0bir hedefte koyar\u0131m o k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bodur evimden denizi izlerken, derim ki\u00a0d\u00fcnyan\u0131n en b\u00fcy\u00fck bal\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ben yakalayaca\u011f\u0131m ve bal\u0131\u011f\u0131 yakalad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u00a0anda da teknem batacak \u00f6lece\u011fim. Bana g\u00f6re bu bir espri. Benim komedim\u00a0bu. O y\u00fczden sizin sonu ba\u015f\u0131ndan belli , insanlar\u0131 s\u00fcrekli t\u00fcketmeye,\u00a0kendilerini , birbirlerini t\u00fcketmeye ve zamanlar\u0131n\u0131 yok etmeye\u00a0programlayan sizi, size d\u00fc\u015fman eden o sa\u00e7mal\u0131k ordusu realite\u00a0Showlar\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 izlemedim ve bu y\u00fczden de onlara hi\u00e7 g\u00fclmedim.<\/div>\n<div dir=\"ltr\">\u00d6nceden zengindim evet; \u015fimdi ise \u201cinsan\u0131m.\u201d Bu de\u011fi\u015fimin beni\u00a0kuruttu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u00fcyorum; \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc biliyorum ki ger\u00e7ek zenginlik, kuru\u00a0hesaplarda de\u011fil, harcama ve kaybettiklerimiz aras\u0131nda \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fcl\u00fcr. Bir g\u00fcn\u00a0ya\u011fmurlu bir havada iplik gibi ya\u011fan ya\u011fmur bana \u015f\u00f6yle f\u0131s\u0131ldad\u0131: \u201cAs\u0131l\u00a0zenginlik, mal\u0131n \u00e7oklu\u011funda de\u011fil ne kadar\u0131n\u0131 hakikate harcad\u0131\u011f\u0131nda ve\u00a0ne kadar\u0131n\u0131 kendi i\u00e7 d\u00fcnyanda saklayabildi\u011finde sakl\u0131d\u0131r.\u201d O an akl\u0131ma\u00a0gelen \u015fey \u015fu oldu: g\u00fcn olur, \u00e7illi k\u0131z\u0131n iki yumurtas\u0131nda, dal\u0131ndan kopma\u00a0taze patl\u0131can\u0131 do\u011fray\u0131p k\u0131zart\u0131r\u0131m, g\u00fcn olur denizin bana verdi\u011fi<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div dir=\"ltr\">bal\u0131klarla yetinirim; suya dost, ku\u015fa, bal\u0131\u011fa, m\u00fcnzevi bir h\u00fcmanist\u00a0olurum.<\/div>\n<div dir=\"ltr\">M\u00fcnzevi miyim? Evet m\u00fcnzeviyim. O inand\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z yaradan yapt\u0131 beni b\u00f6yle.\u00a0Ne yapacaks\u0131n\u0131z asacak m\u0131s\u0131n\u0131z d\u00f6vecek misiniz aforoz edip dinden mi\u00a0atacaks\u0131n\u0131z? \u015eunu s\u00f6yleyim o zaman size , ben sizin dininizden de\u011filim.\u00a0Benim inanc\u0131mda yapma tanr\u0131lar, sonradan icat edilmi\u015f kutsallar ve\u00a0devire ve d\u00f6neme g\u00f6re yorumlanan g\u00fc\u00e7lenen ya da g\u00fc\u00e7s\u00fczle\u015fen\u00a0rahmanlarda yok. Benim yarad\u0131c\u0131m tahtta da oturmuyor. Mesele \u015fu ki\u00a0dondurulmu\u015f bir s\u00fct\u00fcn camdan kab\u0131n\u0131n k\u0131r\u0131laca\u011f\u0131ndan korkanlard\u0131r en\u00a0\u00e7ok kalbinin k\u0131r\u0131kl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan bahsedenler. S\u00fct donmu\u015ftur k\u0131r\u0131lmaz ama\u00a0insan donmu\u015ftur ve kalbi k\u0131r\u0131l\u0131r en derinden.<\/div>\n<div dir=\"ltr\">M\u00fcnzevi olmam, tercihten \u00e7ok bir bilgelik \u00e7a\u011fr\u0131s\u0131d\u0131r; bu \u00e7a\u011fr\u0131, \u015fu\u00a0d\u00fcnyay\u0131 y\u00f6neten \u201creality\u201d ordular\u0131n\u0131n, insanlar\u0131 t\u00fcketmeye, kendilerini\u00a0t\u00fcketmeye, zamanlar\u0131n\u0131 yok etmeye programlamas\u0131ndan \u00f6nde geliyor. Ben\u00a0buna kar\u015f\u0131, kendi i\u00e7 sesiyle ya\u015fayan bir hayat kuruyorum. O y\u00fczden\u00a0dinlemedi\u011fimi; sizin dininizden olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 s\u00f6ylemek isterim. Tanr\u0131lar\u00a0yoktur, sonradan icat edilmi\u015f kutsallar yoktur; rahmanlar g\u00fc\u00e7lenen ya da\u00a0g\u00fc\u00e7s\u00fczle\u015fen, tahtlar\u0131nda oturan ilahlar yoktur burada. Yaradan\u0131m\u00a0tahtlarda de\u011fil; o, s\u00fck\u00fbnetin ve ak\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n kayna\u011f\u0131d\u0131r bende \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc\u00a0kendimi seviyorum ve bu sevgimi ba\u015fkalar\u0131 ile de \u00e7ok rahat payla\u015f\u0131yorum.\u00a0Benim tanr\u0131m bana bunu emrediyor.<\/div>\n<div dir=\"ltr\">Denizi g\u00f6ren evim olacak ve o eve bakan g\u00f6zlerim olacak; eninde sonunda\u00a0ben de \u00f6l\u00fcr\u00fcm bu evde. \u00d6l\u00fcm, ya\u015fam\u0131n son bulmas\u0131 de\u011fildir belki; ama\u00a0denizi izlerken g\u00f6\u00e7 edece\u011fim, kimse bilmeyecek; yaln\u0131zca k\u00f6pe\u011fim bana\u00a0e\u015flik edecek. \u00d6l\u00fcm\u00fcn korkusu yok, \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc \u00f6l\u00fcm de bu sahil k\u00f6y\u00fcn\u00fcn\u00a0r\u00fczg\u00e2r\u0131 gibi do\u011fu\u015fun bir par\u00e7as\u0131d\u0131r. \u0130nsanlar i\u00e7in yazmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m, kendi\u00a0kendime yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131m bu hik\u00e2ye, benim komedimdir belki de \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc bu\u00a0d\u00fcnyan\u0131n sa\u00e7ma g\u00f6sterilerinden, t\u00fcketim \u00e7arp\u0131\u015fmalar\u0131ndan uzak, sakin ve\u00a0derin bir yurtta ya\u015famay\u0131 se\u00e7tim.<\/div>\n<div dir=\"ltr\">Denizi g\u00f6ren bir evim olacak diyorum size ve o evi g\u00f6ren g\u00f6zlerim. Eninde\u00a0sonunda bende \u00f6lece\u011fim o evde. \u00d6l\u00fcm dedi\u011fin ne ki ya\u015famsal\u00a0fonksiyonlar\u0131n son bulmas\u0131 bilmedi\u011finiz. Denizi izlerken birdenbire\u00a0g\u00f6\u00e7ece\u011fim kimse bilmeyecek, k\u00f6pe\u011fimden ba\u015fka<\/div>\n<div dir=\"ltr\">Denizin enginli\u011fi, p\u0131nar\u0131n temizli\u011fi, palmiyelerin g\u00f6lgesi, k\u0131sacas\u0131 her\u00a0\u015fey, i\u00e7sel bir harita gibi bana yol g\u00f6steriyor. Mektubumun sonunda, belki\u00a0de en bilge \u00f6\u011f\u00fcd\u00fcm \u015fu: Ger\u00e7ek zenginlik, sahip oldu\u011fun \u015feyleri\u00a0payla\u015fmanda de\u011fil, onlar\u0131 nas\u0131l kullan\u0131p nas\u0131l kaybetti\u011finde sakl\u0131d\u0131r.\u00a0Ben, bu sahil k\u00f6y\u00fcn\u00fcn m\u00fcnzevi bilgesiyim; servetimle de\u011fil, sade ya\u015famla\u00a0\u00f6l\u00e7\u00fclen bir varl\u0131\u011f\u0131m var ve bu varl\u0131k, denize bakan evimde, sessizli\u011fin\u00a0i\u00e7indeki tanr\u0131sal sesimde sakl\u0131d\u0131r.<\/div>\n<div dir=\"ltr\">Sizlere Gelecekte G\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fmek \u00fczerine Meydan Okuyorum.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div dir=\"ltr\">Orada G\u00f6r\u00fc\u015felim&#8230;<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Sevgili Zaman, sana y\u0131llar \u00f6nce yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131m en yal\u0131n mektuptan bu yana \u00e7ok\u00a0\u015fey de\u011fi\u015fmedi: D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm ki denizi g\u00f6rmeden \u00f6nce kendimi g\u00f6rebilmem\u00a0m\u00fcmk\u00fcn de\u011fildi. Ev, p\u0131nar, palmiyeler; hepsi birer y\u0131ld\u0131z gibi bana yol\u00a0g\u00f6steriyor. Zenginli\u011fim, kendi i\u00e7imde, ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131n kurallar\u0131yla s\u0131n\u0131rl\u0131\u00a0de\u011fildir; ben art\u0131k payla\u015f\u0131mda ve sadele\u015fmede \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fcy\u00fcm. \u0130nsanlardan\u00a0uzak, ama do\u011fayla konu\u015fan, kendi ritmimde y\u00fcr\u00fcyen bir bilgeyim. S\u00fct\u00a0cam\u0131 k\u0131r\u0131lacak ama kalbim [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":17,"featured_media":105160,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[37],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-105159","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-safak-genc"],"views":781,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mersingazetesi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/105159","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mersingazetesi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mersingazetesi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mersingazetesi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/17"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mersingazetesi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=105159"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mersingazetesi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/105159\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mersingazetesi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/105160"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mersingazetesi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=105159"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mersingazetesi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=105159"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mersingazetesi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=105159"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}